To those lost,
What are you doing?
Who are you?
Where are you going?
And what is that will define you as a person?
Questions I am sure you ask yourself in some form of light but take little heed to them. Go to your room or any place you are comfortable for thirty minutes and be alone.
Alone without music, without anything but your mind and heart. Close your eyes and form the “perfect” version of yourself in your head, the “perfect” life. Do not create a life based on the materials or life of others.
Start from scratch, from the very morsel of a breath.
Envision how you desire to be. Imagine building yourself as if you were an artist painting. With every action from the way you organize your pencils to your every day items, generates a piece of you.
How you act in the smallest of ways are the building blocks of you as a whole. How you react to the most basic of activities like driving, is an output of your input. How you speak to yourself internally will animate into the physical.
Do you get angry, annoyed, while in traffic?
If you do, find out why? What is your focus while in traffic?
“People are so dumb, they drive so slow.”
“I am going to be late thanks to traffic, thanks to…”
Such negativity to such a blessed situation is a result of your input. Meaning what you say and do inwardly, is shown in your outward reaction.
How is traffic a blessing? Well, you ain’t walking thirty miles, five miles, two miles, everyday to your destination are you? You are not stuck in the cold walking outside or the scorching heat are you?
So being stuck in traffic is blessing. Being able to sit in a car, even if it takes you another hour, is blessing in itself. How you perceive/view the situation inwardly, will dictate your reaction externally.
What does this have to do with envisioning your life, yourself?
Well, everything, while you envision yourself. Envision your initial reaction in the situation. Place yourself in the most obnoxious and terrifying situations you can think of for yourself.
Now, let them naturally play out in your head. How did you feel? Anxious, angry, stressed?
These are not necessarily bad emotions, they are only bad if they result in a negative outcome. Being stressed can be helpful, if used to overcome what is stressing you out.
Anger is good, if it is used to generate a path to overcome. Here’s an example, you didn’t get that job? You didn’t gain that following you wanted on the addictive social media app to help you sell or create something?
Get angry that that happened but take that anger and transfer it into positive action. Didn’t get the job, call and find out why. Then, improve on those reasons for the next opportunity.
Didn’t get that following? Why not? What is the feedback you are getting from your gut? Your gut, I would say is 8/10 times right. Write down why you are not, look to those who have the following you want, take habits from them and adapt them to your goals.
Okay, all that being said, lets revert back to the initial exposure I want give you. Those were but injections to stir up ideas for what is to come.
As you did with envisioning your life, yourself in negative situations, feeling and imaging your reaction. Now, do the flip side of such reaction. Imagine being in a confident and calm state.
Think about how the improved you would react or maybe not the improved you, but the adaptive you. How would that person react? What is it about that person that makes them react this way?
What are they thinking? When in traffic, are they thinking,
“Damn, it’s 90 degrees out but I have the A/C blasting, my favorite music going. Thank God I’m not stumbling out in the heat for the next ten miles.”
Just writing that places me in a better thought process of traffic. Now, why is it this person, (the you you are imaging), thinking this way?
Is it because they are tired of being upset all the time? Is it because they are reaching for gratitude over attitude. (cheesy I know)
Or are they seeing the real reason they are upset about the situation? See, we can be angry at one thing only to find out we are angry at something else. It’s like when you are “hangry,” mad only because you are hungry.
But when the hunger is suppressed for the time being, you feel much better. Your body is receiving nutrients it needs to run smoothly. Elevating your endorphins and giving energy throughout the body in many other aspects.
Maybe traffic is upsetting because of something in the past you have yet to deal with? For me, traffic was upsetting because of many things, but the major factor was because of my time spent overseas in war.
A year over there and your entire system changes. Much like your entire system changes as you allow stressors to pile up or a trauma that lays dorminant. They need to be dealt with, when they are not, they come out in fractions:
Mad in traffic, mad your food didn’t show up on time, mad that person looked at you wrong, mad your gf/bf didn’t text you back right away.
When the real reason you are made at these scenarios is because you failed a major exam or had a death in the family etc.
The list could go on forever. So, as you envision the present future you, what problems, (problems will no longer be problems, but challenges.) have they over come and how?
What fears have they dealt with and how? Envision this deeply, from the feelings to the very posture of your body during such challenges. Feel, look, examine how they were overcome.
Scrap the very colors from the imagination and inspect them. As you achieve and overcome these challenges, What are the results? What comes of them?
If you are seeing you gain the employment you want, the business you want to create, the family, the love, the home, the car, the friendship/relationships. Highly recommend friendships/relationships be a major part in this.
What does the present future you do to hold on to these and be grateful for them? What do they do for others, without giving to the world, there will be no joy internally. Help other so they may help you, but make sure your glass is full before you help another. To die of dehydration before helping the other, what does that do?
The circle you bear around you with friends and family can have massive subconscious effects on you. What do these all look like, how do they feel, what about them is desirable?
The goal of this is not to set things in stone, but to give you a direction to make. A path through the thickets of life and your imagination placed into action is your machete. Cutting away the things blocking you.
Building a path you can look back on and say with humility, “I made that.”
Now, as you dive into these visions through these challenges. How do you act when they do not go as planned? Do you slump over and quit?
Or do you spark up a new plan and try again? Maybe your plan was good but just needs to be implemented numerous times before it works?
How will you know what to do? Your gut, ask for help, listen to others who have been through the same.
When you ask for help or listen to others experiences, it’s not about completely adopting their point of view or advice. It’s about being with humility and being okay with being wrong, with failing, with welcoming other approaches.
Just putting yourself out there to ask for help is meaningful. But maybe the help you get sucks and nothing comes of it, but you asked for help right? You would be surprised how many people will not ask for help only to end up blaming those that never helped.
Well, you never asked.
Or how about the person that went through what you are going through but it doesn’t align with what you want achieve? Great, you found a way not to do something. Just like the light-bulb and Edison, whether you agree with Edison history or not. He had a good point about doing something a thousands times wrong.
See, we are every piece of every action we take. We cannot be perfect but we can damn well not let ourselves become trash. One of the quickest ways to fall into becoming trash is through blame, yes things can be others fault. But there is no healthy results in such a view. Find the challenge, accept it, act accordingly and learn from it. Memory is to help you not repeat what created chaos.
As you sit alone for the first, fifth, or tenth time, may be difficult. But each time you will progress, that is if you take it seriously. I would say, on the third time. Bring a paper and pen, yes, paper and pen.
Leave all electronics out of it. As you imagine, write everything down, how you feel in present and after the alone time. What your present future you does to achieve their goals, how they feel and react. What they think of their current living situation and why. How they can keep a path of continual humility and growth. Thirty minutes minimum I would say.
Write down your plan, write down what your present future self is doing and will do. How are they in personality and confidence? How do they treat others? How do they treat the very chair they sit upon? How do they clean, organize, and speak?
Become as precise as you can, feel and imagine yourself being at the level you want to be. How will you react when you gain such a level? What will you do, keeping climbing or settle?
Be careful if you settle, you’ll fall right back to where you started. Do not let the comforts of the former be your excuse to quit. Hint, comfort is not helpful, I am sure you have already heard that, but it is damn true.
You can achieve what ever you are willing to put effort into and not quit. But be ready for sacrifice, from friends to TV series. Is your present future self consuming or creating?
If they are consuming, chances are they will not be any different than they are today.
Thank you for reading, may your days to come be willed with blessings.